I was asked a question about my post last week by a good friend - given what I was moving away from, he was curious to know, what does recovery and living in sobriety give me and move me towards?
I met him when he was a supporting coach on a very good NLP course I went on. He was very good at reflecting back to me and really allowed me to uncover some difficult learnings. I very quickly learnt that a lot of my approaches are 'away froms' rather than 'towards', more moving backwards rather than forwards. It's almost as if I am afraid to look at where I'm going in case I don't get there or maybe it's easier to blame someone else if I can't see where I'm going. Either way, I have been working on becoming a 'towards' person, it would seem not very successfully! As a general rule, we do better on focusing what we want to happen rather than what we don't. Many of us have been told this as parents and may be more successful with our children than ourselves, using the words 'be careful' rather than 'don't break it' or 'don't fall off'. So, let me answer the question, what does recovery and living in sobriety give me and move me towards?
Honesty, people who are truly honest with each other, improving the way that they deal with other people. Learning to be honest about themselves, living an honest life. Talking honestly about their lives to now, sharing their insecurities, their mistakes, their fears. And moving on, finding a better life. A life without those fears, without insecurities, without any more mistakes. Of course, it's not all perfect, a lot of people go through some incredibly significant traumas. What recovery through AA gives is an amazing support group, a group who are all too aware of how difficult it is living any life sober never mind dealing with extra shit. The most inspirational people are those who, when they describe their past life, you can't see them in it, they seem too far removed from the person they're describing. That's when I'm reminded how it really works, that it can transform me too, that I can become warm, generous and loving, in a truly genuine and not forced way, and that one day I too can become lovable. And that, Mike, gives me hope. Hope, in a way that I didn't understand existed,
certainly not for someone like me. It fills me with warmth. From head to toe, inside and out, glowing. Fully protected without the need for a wall of glass or stone, no need for a shield or sword, no suit of armour, no masks. To walk out into the world without all that weighing me down, to hop, skip and jump into the day. That's what I'm moving towards and I feel like a really lucky girl.
Ok, so still a strong smattering, so we go again.....
Honesty, people who are truly honest with each other, improving the way that they deal with other people. Learning to be honest about themselves, living an honest life. Talking honestly about their lives to now, sharing their insecurities, their mistakes, their fears. And moving on, finding a better life. A life of calm, security and sensitivity. Of course, it's not all perfect, a lot of people go through some incredibly significant traumas. What recovery through AA gives is an amazing support group, a group who are all too aware of how difficult it is living any life sober never mind dealing with extra shit. The most inspirational people are those who, when they describe their past life, you can't see them in it, they seem too far removed from the person they're describing. That's when I'm reminded how it really works, that it transforms me too, that I am warm, generous and loving, in a truly genuine way, and that I too am lovable. And that, Mike, gives me hope. Hope, in a way that I didn't understand existed, certainly not for someone like me. It fills me with warmth. From head to toe, inside and out, glowing. Feeling the sun on my face, the air on my skin, the sand beneath my feet and
in between my toes. To walk freely out into the world, to hop, skip and jump into the day. That's what I'm moving towards and I am a really lucky girl.
Yes, that is better, we are making progress.
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